The Hidden Tznius of Rachel Imeinu

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

In this week’s parsha, we read about Yaakov Avinu coming to Charan to look for a shidduch. He meets Rachel and knows, with ruach ha-kodesh, that she is the one he is meant to marry. He agrees to work for Lavan for seven years, just so he can marry her. But there was a concern. Even though they had made up clearly that after the seven years of work he would marry Rachel, Yaakov was worried that Lavan might trick him and give him Leah instead of Rachel. So Yaakov and Rachel made up simanim, special signs between them, so that under the chuppah they would be able to confirm that it was really Rachel. In the end, Lavan did try exactly that—to switch Leah for Rachel. And what did Rachel do? She had tremendous rachmanus on her sister. She said to herself, “What will happen with Leah? She will be so embarrassed if Yaakov realizes what happened.” So Rachel gave Leah the simanim.

This was an enormous act of chesed. Rachel gave up Yaakov for her sister—her own husband and her own future—just so Leah would not be embarrassed. It was also vitur, being mevater on her own rights, and a real act of mesirus nefesh for her sister. But Chazal in Megillah (13b) describe this as tznius. We have to understand: where do we see tznius here? When we hear the word tznius, we usually think about clothing—how long the skirt is. So what does that have to do with this story?

Rav Yitzchak Kolodetzki explains that there is another dimension of tznius. The Navi Micha says, “Hatznea leches im Hashem Elokecha”—“Walk modestly with Hashem, your G-d” (Micha 6:8). This is not talking about clothing. It is talking about doing your mitzvos in a hidden way, covering up your good deeds and not showing them off. Don’t seek publicity or honor from your mitzvos. Do them quietly, only for the sake of Hashem, and not for yourself. That is also called tznius. Rachel not only did a tremendous chesed and vitur; she did it with this expression of tznius. She covered it up. She made sure her sister would not even feel that she was receiving something. How did she do it? Daas Zekeinim (Bereishis 29:25) writes that the simanim were the halachos of niddah, challah and hadlakas neir. Rachel did not tell Leah, “I am giving you the simanim that Yaakov gave me.” She simply taught her these halachos as basic obligations of every Jewish woman. So Leah never felt that Rachel had given her anything.

We see clearly that later in the parshah Leah never realized what Rachel had done. When Rachel asks Leah for the dudaim that Reuven brought, Leah answers sharply: “Ham’at kachteich es ishi, ve’lakachas gam es dud’ei beni?—Is it a small thing that you have taken my husband, and now you also want to take my son’s dudaim?” (Bereishis 30:15). Leah speaks as if Rachel “took” Yaakov from her, as if he really belongs to Leah and Rachel is the one who is intruding. Rachel stays silent. She does not answer, “What are you talking about? I gave you Yaakov!” She does not defend herself. She allows Leah to speak that way and remains quiet. This is the tznius of Rachel: she did a huge act of chesed and mesirus nefesh, and she hid it so much that the person she helped did not even know. She did not look for any recognition.

The mashgichim give us a deeper understanding. It was not just hiding a good deed. Rachel was giving up her whole future with Yaakov Avinu—the father of all of Klal Yisrael. Chazal say she was even ready to end up with Esav, just so that Leah would not be shamed and so that the house of Yaakov would be built. This is real hatznea leches: taking herself out of the picture and thinking only about what Hashem wants.

The passuk in Micha (6:8) states: “Asos mishpat, ahavas chesed, vehatznea leches im Hashem Elokecha”—“to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk modestly with your G-d.” This verse places hatznea leches—walking modestly—together with the fundamental pillars of mishpat and chesed. Just as the world needs law and kindness to survive, hatznea leches is another foundation. It reminds us to do all these things quietly for Hashem, making it a core part of our spiritual foundation.

Why is hatznea leches so important? It is an essential way to come close to Hashem.

Rabbeinu Yonah (Shaarei Teshuvah 1:25) teaches that to truly subjugate yourself to the service of Hashem, you need hatznea leches—to be able to act without any need for recognition or honor, only for the sake of Hashem. This is a big avodah in our generation. People naturally want recognition—even a small “yasher koach.” That is normal, but we must train ourselves to do at least some things just for Hashem, with no thought of kavod. The Gemara in Makkos (24a) teaches that even by public mitzvos like hachnasas kallah and levayas hameis, which are done in front of people, we must train our minds to think only about the mitzvah and about Hashem, not about our own kavod. Even if I am standing at a levayah in front of a crowd, in my mind I say, “Hashem, I am here for the mitzvah, not for my kavod.” That too is hatznea leches. How can we begin to work on our hatznea leches practically?

Rav Avigdor Miller would say: choose one mitzvah a day to do that nobody else in the world will ever know about—only you and Hashem. It can be a small chesed, an extra kapitel Tehillim, a donation, something in bein adam lachaveiro or bein adam laMakom. The main thing is that no one will ever find out. Get used to doing at least one mitzvah every day in total secrecy. That trains us to feel the sweetness of doing something only for Hashem.

In addition, Rav Shach said, when a person gets kavod for a mitzvah, it can sometimes take away from his reward. It is as if he “cashes out” his s’char in this world through the honor he receives. Remembering this makes it easier not to chase kavod and to value hidden mitzvos more.

We need to realize how precious hatznea leches is in Hashem’s eyes. We see this from Rachel Imeinu. Rashi (Bereishis 30:22) explains that when she gave the simanim to her sister in secret, Hashem “remembered” her and opened her womb, giving her a child. Later, the Navi Yirmiyahu (31:15–16) describes Rachel weeping for her children, and Eichah Rabbah (24) teaches that all the Avos and Imahos came to plead for Klal Yisrael, but it was Rachel’s claim that she had given the simanim—that she had acted with hatznea leches—that broke through. Because of this, she was given the power to cry for her children and bring them back. Even today, when we go to Kever Rachel to daven, we rely on that same hatznea leches. All of this shows how beloved hatznea leches is to Hashem and pushes us to try to live with more hatznea leches in our own lives.

There is a powerful story that shows this middah. Rav Chizkiyah Medini, the author of Sdei Chemed, was a young kollel man (avrech) and a very diligent learner. Another avrech became jealous and paid the cleaning lady to falsely accuse Rav Chizkiyah of improper behavior. She screamed at him in public, and although the baal ha-bayis did not believe her and fired her, Rav Chizkiyah’s name was badly damaged.

Later, when her money ran out, she regretted what she had done. She came to Rav Chizkiyah and offered to admit that she had lied and to reveal who had paid her, if he would help her get her job back. At first he was tempted, but then he thought: “If she tells the truth now, my name will be cleared—but another avrech will be destroyed and there will be a new chilul Hashem.” So he told her he would try to help her, but he did not want her to say anything.

He was ready to live with the suspicion rather than hurt another Jew or cause chilul Hashem. That is real hatznea leches—giving up your own honor completely for the sake of Hashem and for others. From that time on, he later said, he felt like a different person. His mind opened, and Torah and chochmah began to pour into him. When he worked on Sdei Chemed, it was like many people working together. Shlomo HaMelech says, “Ve’es tzenouim chochmah—with the modest ones is wisdom” (Mishlei 11:2), and we see that in his life.

May we be zocheh to strengthen our hatznea leches and to do our avodah in a hidden way.