The Remedy for Vanity

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

Parshas Tazria introduces tzaraas, a spiritual disease roughly translated as “leprosy.” The sources tell us that tzaraas is inflicted for various spiritual defects, one of which is constantly transgressing the laws of evil speech, lashon hara (Eruchin 15b). One who suffers this disease is known as a metzora. The metzora is required to dwell in solitude, far away from the population. His clothes must be torn, and his hair is allowed to grow wild. If anyone tries to come close to him, he must prevent them from becoming contaminated by his impurity, crying out, “Impure! Impure!”

The Sages (Moed Katan 5a) explain why the metzora says “impure” twice. The first is to alert people to keep away from him. However, the second call is intended to arouse people’s pity for his plight and pray that he be cured.

This form of punishment is rare. Why is it necessary for the metzora to be publicly disgraced?  After all, most sins do not incur this penalty.

Rav Chaim Friedlander explains that the metzora’s punishment is not intended to embarrass him. Rather, it is a method to heal the cause of his spiritual illness. At the root of one who speaks lashon hara is his need to be considered better than someone else. He tried to elevate his own status by lowering his audience’s opinion of others.

However, the metzora made two mistakes. Firstly, causing others to have a bad opinion of another will not cause them to have a good opinion of him. (On the contrary, they are likely to think less of him, and fear him for what he may say about them.) Furthermore, the metzora was wrong to feel that his own importance depends on the opinion of others.

To cure this spiritual imperfection, the Torah prescribes a special treatment: First, he is to stop viewing himself as superior. He tears his clothing and lets his hair grow wild. This breaks his inclination toward vanity. Secondly, he isolates himself, and learns that he needs other people. Solitude itself teaches the need for company, but he also discovers that he is in need of the prayers of others for him to become healed. Just as others are helping him with their prayers, he will aspire to return to a life where he can help others, and surely not continue to hurt them through harmful words.

Vanity is always a mistake – even in a lesser form that does not lead to tzaraas. The Mesillas Yesharim (22) writes that one with a healthy mind should be incapable of becoming vain. Regardless of his wonderful qualities, he surely knows that his good points are gifts from Hashem. Wealth is certainly a gift from Hashem, but even knowledge in Torah which was acquired through toil is also from Him. The Ramchal compares the vain person to a bird who boasts that it can fly, when it is merely doing what it is programmed to do. A vain person is in essence boasting in Hashem’s presence, denying that Hashem is the Source of his virtues.

This idea is worth clarifying. Suppose that one received talent from Hashem. Can he not take the credit for using that talent to accomplish something? After all, others have that talent but squander it, and he has used it in Hashem’s service. Is this vanity a false feeling? The truth is, though, that this person is also making a mistake. Does his behavior change the fact that his virtues are gifts from Hashem? On the contrary, has he contemplated how much more he is capable of? Perhaps he can be making even better use of the gifts Hashem gave him!

Of course, one must have a healthy sense of self-esteem. Despite this need, how can we rid ourselves of vanity?

The Mesillas Yesharim (23) suggests two courses of action. First, he advises us to condition ourselves to avoid showing off. This can be accomplished little by little, in small doses. We must not let our achievements get to our heads. If we know more than others, we should use it to help them instead of belittling them. We should not wear the fanciest clothes or drive the fanciest car. We should avoid standing out despite our qualities.

Secondly, we are advised to spend time thinking about humility. We should ask ourselves: Am I really better than other people? Are my good qualities reasons to believe that I am better? Isn’t everything I have from Hashem?

Rav Wolbe suggests that a good place for contemplation about humility is in prayer. Nowhere is our dependency on Hashem highlighted more than prayer, when we turn to Him and request health, livelihood, wisdom—in short, everything. Thinking about the words that we are saying helps us realize that we need Hashem for every aspect of our lives. This makes us humble.

The Sages provide much advice on the subject of humility. “Know where you come from: a fetid drop; and to where you are going: a place of worms [the grave]; and before Whom you will have to give an accounting (Avos 3).” The Sages are reminding us that we are lowly, material beings destined to decay in the ground, and that we will have to give an accounting for both sin and character. We will have to stand before the Almighty and explain how we justified our vanity.

The Chasam Sofer would tell his students, “What will we be able to say when we come to the Next World? We will be asked: Did you learn Shas? Do you know Shas? Poskim?

“What will we answer? That we tried but we weren’t able? Then we will be asked about fulfilling mitzvos properly, and serving Hashem the way that we should have…

“We will try to claim that we were weak, that we lacked the strength for it, but this is only true if a person was not vain in his lifetime. A vain person, though, will not be able to make such a claim. If he held so highly of himself and his abilities, why didn’t he channel them more into Torah?”

May we be zocheh to overcome vanity!