The Aleph-Beis of Torah

by Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

In Parshas Kedoshim, the Torah gives us one of the most precious mitzvos in the whole Torah: “Ve’ahavta l’rei’acha kamocha — love your fellow like yourself” (Vayikra 19:18). We are told to love another Jew with a full heart, the way we naturally love ourselves.

The Rambam (Hilchos Dei’os 6:3) explains that this means more than just having a warm feeling inside. It means to care for another person the way you would want someone to care for you. A person should protect his fellow’s money, guard his honor, and speak well about him, just as he would want for himself.  Rashi brings Rabbi Akiva’s famous words that this mitzvah is a great principle of the Torah. The simple meaning is that it is a central rule for all mitzvos between man and his fellow man. If I truly love another person, I will not speak lashon hara about him. I will judge him favorably. I will not take revenge or bear a grudge. I will help him, return what he lost, and be careful with all the many mitzvos that govern how we treat other people. Real love becomes the foundation for all of them.

But it goes even further. The Gemara (Shabbos 31a) says that a man came to Hillel and asked to be converted on condition that he is taught the whole Torah while standing on one foot. Hillel answered, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man. That is the whole Torah; the rest is explanation”.  At first this is difficult to understand. This rule seems to cover only mitzvos that are between man and his fellow man. What about mitzvos between man and Hashem?  What about serving Hashem?

Once a person develops within himself a real desire to do good for others,  that same quality can carry over into his relationship with Hashem. If a person knows how to feel gratitude to another human being, then certainly he should feel gratitude to Hashem, Who gives him everything. This mitzvah is not only a guide for social behavior. It shapes the whole person. It makes him into someone whose nature is to give, to appreciate, and to care. Such a person can serve Hashem very differently.

This also explains why “ve’ahavta l’rei’acha kamocha” is so important for Torah itself. We are now in the days of sefirah, when we are in aveilus because Rabbi Akiva’s 24,000 talmidim died. Chazal say they died because they did not treat one another with proper honor (Yevamos 62b). Rav Aharon Kotler pointed out that Chazal do not say they embarrassed one another or committed some dramatic wrongdoing. Rather, they were lacking in the full measure of honoring one another.

Why should that affect their ability to pass on Torah?  Torah can only rest on a person who is becoming a true refined person. A person who has not worked enough on his middos cannot fully connect to Torah. Torah is not only information. Torah is the wisdom of Hashem, and to become a vessel for it a person has to refine himself. If he is lacking in real care and respect for others, then the Torah cannot rest on him in the fullest way. So even for Torah itself, this mitzvah is crucial.

Still, we have to ask: how does a person actually reach this level? It is not simple at all. How do I come to love someone I barely know? How do I love someone who hurt me? Even with an ordinary person, this mitzvah is demanding. The Ramban (Vayikra 19:18) writes that “ve’ahavta l’rei’acha kamocha” means wanting good for your fellow without jealousy, to the point that you want him to have every success and every blessing, and you do not insist that at least in some area you should remain above him. Human nature is not like that. A person may be ready to wish others well, but deep down he often still wants to keep some advantage for himself.

So how do we grow into this mitzvah?

Rav Chaim Shmulevitz brings a wonderful eitzah from Derech Eretz Zuta (2). If a person wants to come to love for others he should give to them. He should do small acts of kindness for them. A good word.  A smile. A warm greeting. A little honor. Some practical help. Once you give to a person, you begin to feel connected to him. You have placed a part of yourself into him. Rav Chaim explains that then loving him becomes easier, because he now carries something of you.

Rav Yisrael Salanter said something similar.  If someone hurt you, there may still be bad feelings in your heart even if you tell yourself that you forgive him. So what should you do? Try actively to do good for him. Help him. Benefit him. By giving to him, you uproot the resentment from within yourself. This is a powerful path to healing bad feelings and building real love.

There is another very deep approach brought in Tomer Devorah. A person has to become less of a physical person and more of a spiritual person. When someone is pulled after physical desires and self-interest, he becomes wrapped up in himself. His only wants to fill his field of vision. But when a person becomes more spiritual he is able to connect to others in a more real way. On the level of the neshamah, all Jewish souls are connected. Deep down, we all want the same thing:  to come close to Hashem.

This helps explain what the Rambam writes in Demai, that talmidei chachamim are called chaveirim — friends (Demai 2:3). Why are they called that? Because they are living more leshem Shamayim. Their lives are centered more around the neshamah, so there is a natural bond between them. The more spiritual a person is the easier it becomes for him to feel that connection with others.

The Sabba of Kelm, explains that this is also the root of “nosei be’ol im chaveiro — carrying your fellow’s burden with him”. Usually a person feels his own pain very well, but he barely notices what someone else is going through. A more spiritual person is less locked inside himself. His heart is more open. He can begin to feel another person’s struggle, to listen to it, to care about it, and to share it. A person has to work to reach the level where he can truly feel another person’s burden. The Sabba of Kelm says that this is one of the biggest remedies against the problem of self-centeredness.

The Sabba once spoke strongly about someone who left yeshivah because he thought he would learn better alone elsewhere. The Sabba’s response was: why did he not ask whether this was the right move? Maybe he would gain in learning, but in yeshivah he could also live with others, grow in “nosei be’ol im chaveiro”, and work on getting out of himself. That itself is a major part of what we are here for.  A person is not here only to build himself in isolation. He is here to become a giver, someone who feels others. That itself brings him to ahavas chaveirim.

The Gra says that the whole purpose of a person in this world is to break his bad middos. Someone once asked Rav Shach: how can that be? Is not Torah the greatest thing? Rav Shach answered: of course Torah is the greatest thing but first you need the aleph-beis. The beginning is to get out of your self-centeredness. Working on a middah, breaking selfishness, and learning to love another Jew — this is the beginning that makes everything else possible.

May we be zocheh to grow in “ve’ahavta l’rei’acha kamocha” – to truly love every Jew.