פרשת חוקת
In this week’s parsha there is a verse that is the source of a very famous exegesis of Hazal. Our Rabbis derive from chapter 21 verse 27 an admonition to individuals who are able to dominate their personal inclinations. The gemara in Bava Basra 78b tells us that the Torah is alerting us to the importance of reflecting on our deeds. Heshbon hanefesh isn’t just a noble undertaking. It is absolutely critical to being spiritually successful. One should calculate and compare the reward of a mitzvah to its loss and the pleasure of doing an aveira to impending Divine retribution. Through this process, the gemara says, one will be “built” in this world and “established” in the next. There are two questions we can ask on this dispatch of Hazal. First, why is this call only directed towards those who are capable of dominating their personal inclinations? If even people who already have some control over themselves need heshbon hanefesh, one can only imagine how much others need it! Second, the technique the gemara recommends us to use in reflecting on our actions is puzzling. How can we calculate the value of a mitzvah and estimate the amount of destruction an aveira can cause? Nowhere in the Torah are we given clear guidelines for such things! In fact, the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos even says it is impossible to know the reward for the mitzvos we do!
The Rebbe of Slonim answers that only one who is able to rule over himself and is not completely blinded by his passions can appreciate the concept of heshbon hanefesh. Indeed, the assessing of a mitzvah’s greatness is certainly not mathematical. All a person needs to do to motivate himself to make a personal evaluation is to take a few moments to think about what a mitzvah is. Reminding oneself that a mitzvah is the greatest action one can perform and that it creates a bond between oneself and G-d that will ultimately lead to eternal bliss, overwhelming happiness, and a never-ending cycle bringing one closer and closer to G-d, is an extremely powerful motivation to any clear-minded human being. The inspiration to strive for greatness is magnified when we also contemplate and realize that any other pleasure we can possibly obtain is only temporary and limited. So why be seduced by the immediate physical gratifications of this world when we realize it is really just a foolish trade-off for all the beautiful things we truly yearn for? Anyone who is understanding enough to aspire to closeness to G-d can surely appreciate the value and benefit of this exercise.
The Ramchal writes in Derech Eitz Chaim that without heshbon hanefesh it is very difficult to achieve character perfection. If one does not give much thought to his spiritual issues, how can they be addressed? The Ramchal even goes so far as to say that heshbon hanefesh is actually our greatest defense against the yetzer hara and recommends that one should devote an hour every day to heshbon hanefesh and similar activities. One should remind himself of what his goals are in life and how he is going about reaching them. Why did he come into this world? What will he have to say for himself when his life comes to an end? A person should also try to inspire himself by learning from other individuals who achieved exalted levels of spiritual actualization. What did our fathers do that made them so great? If we really think about it, we can emulate many of the practices of the great Jews who came before us. By reviewing these matters, the Ramchal tells us, achieving closeness to G-d can be more within our grasp than we think.
Rav Reuven Fine writes that heshbon hanefesh is not only an essential device to employ when we face the challenges of everyday life. Even reflection on decisions that seem to be non-controversial is absolutely crucial for one’s service of G-d. It is very common for people to get involved in various activities without deliberating whether they are truly doing Hashem’s will or not. Without reviewing and double-checking our decisions, we run the risk of making choices that take us further and further away from Hashem. One may not even realize until years later the consequences of an important life decision that lacked thought. Similarly, many times throughout Jewish history we have seen the appearance of new developments that seemed harmless at first. However, history would show that these new movements were not insignificant and in fact would grow to become full-blown forces utterly transforming the face of the Jewish community. When the enlightenment began, many thought that there was nothing wrong with dabbling a little bit in the changing, modern world. However, the gedolim of that time had the insight and the foresight to realize that many of the new movements Jews were finding themselves attracted to, in fact presented a threat to Torah living. For the last few hundred years Jewish movements supporting communism, nationalism, liberalism, etc. have been constant thorns in the side of the Torah community, and in every generation there has been a struggle for every individual to choose whether or not to allow himself to be sucked in to the seductive “norms” of his day. Will the person make a true heshbon? The answer to this question often determines whether a person will succeed in life or not.
Many years ago the Rebbe of Kaliv came to my neighborhood to speak to American yeshiva buchrim in the area. The Rebbe normally only spoke in Hebrew or Yiddish, but in order to arouse some American boys who needed inspiration, he was willing to make an exception and speak in English. The Rebbe talked about many things but wanted to conclude with a dramatic point that would be forever ingrained in the minds of the youth. “I want to tell you all a very big secret,” the Rebbe smiled, “it’s the secret to greatness…. Do a heshbon hanefesh every day!!!” The Rebbe shared that he too, as great as he may seem to be in the eyes of others, needs to review and reflect on his actions to avoid falling into the clutches of the yetzer hara. “In fact,” continued the Rebbe, “One heshbon hanefesh a day isn’t even enough for me! That’s why I sneak in time to make an additional heshbon at night!”
May we all find the inspiration to begin to make the heshbonos we need to make and come close to Hashem!!!