פרשת כי תשא
In this week’s Parsha, we find that Moshe Rabenu requests from Hashem that he be shown Hashem’s ways in order that he might find favor in His eyes. In other words, Moshe Rabenu felt that by obtaining an intimate knowledge of the way that Hashem works, he would be more equipped to serve Him. Indeed, this concept of “finding favor in the eyes of Hashem” is one which appears quite frequently throughout the Torah. Furthermore, Chazal instituted as part of our daily prayers that we ask for help in this arena every single day. For example in the morning blessings we ask, “Hashem, please let us find favor, kindness and mercy in your eyes”. I would like to try to explain exactly what it means to find favor in Hashem’s eyes. Or more specifically, how is finding favor different than regular Mitzvah observance?
The renowned Mashgiach, R’ Chazkal Levinstein used to elucidate this principle with a parable. He would explain that when a person has a job, and they would like to advance their position in that job, it is not enough that they perform their daily chores and go home. Only by developing a relationship with the boss, and by personally pleasing the boss, can an individual hope to move himself forward. Similarly, the Rabenu Yona (1:42) says that the righteous people in this world don’t desire to learn Torah only for Torah’s sake, or to perform the commandments only in order to do them properly, but rather they desire to develop a personal relationship with the Creator of the world by doing them in a way which demonstrates our sincere desire to please Him. One of the primary motivations in Mitzvah observance must be to please our Creator on a personal level. It goes without saying that Hashem does not need our service in any way, but He revealed to us that by performing that service, we can actually get closer to Him and please Him, so to speak.
With this principle, R’ Chazkal would explain the following difficult passage in the Talmud. The Gemorah in Berachos (28b) relates that when R’ Yochanan was about to die, his students came in to visit him for the last time. When he saw them, he began to cry. They asked him, “Rebbi, why are you crying”? He responded that he was about to be judged in front of Hashem, whose dominion is far more powerful that any earthly king’s dominion. And furthermore, he added, I don’t know if I will merit to enter into the next world, or if I will be forced to spend time in Gehenom. Should he not cry? There is a big problem with this Gemorah. It seems that R’ Yochanan repeated himself. First he expressed his fear of being judged in front of Hashem, and then again, after this, he expressed another concern that he may have to enter into Gehenom. How can we explain this seeming redundancy? R’ Chazkal clarifies this esoteric interchange as follows: The students were surprised to see their Rebbi crying, being that they were certain that he was guaranteed a place in the world to come. But he responded to them, that he had two concerns. Firstly, perhaps it wasn’t true that his actions were complete. Perhaps he could have done stronger Mitzvah observance and he did not. But even if it were true that he had performed the Mitzvos properly, how could he know that his service had been accepted by Hashem. Maybe there were times he could have done better, or his heart was not quite in the right place, and for these reasons, perhaps he had not found favor in the eyes of Hashem. Perhaps at the end of the day, his service has not really been pleasing to his Master. This being the case, should he not weep?
From the way R’ Chazkal rendered this Gemorah, I believe we can learn a lot about what it means to find favor in the eyes of Hashem. When a person knows that each and every action which he does, and even more so, each and every thought that enters his heart, is recorded and analyzed to determine its level of purity, he will certainly go about his service of the Creator differently than he would have without that knowledge. Only when a person is in a constant struggle to refine his actions and his character traits to the point that there are no impurities left therein, will he be able to reach the level that he can honestly say that he has pleased his Maker. Only when he is living his life as a process in which he is always improving can he hope to reach this level, as opposed to a person who feels satisfied with the level which he has already achieved.
I would just like to conclude by saying that it is clear that the thing which pleases Hashem the most is our constant desire to please Him. If a person puts all of his strength into acquiring this lofty trait, he will certainly be successful. I would like to share with you a true story which happened to me which I believe illustrates this point beautifully. I was once visiting one of the Torah giants in this generation, who happens to also be skilled in the art of Kabbalah and hidden Torah. While I was there, an older man came in to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi looked at him and smiled a very happy smile. When this older man asked the Rabbi what the meaning was for such a warm smile, the Rabbi responded that for years, he saw that this man was trying very hard to do the right thing, but he was never quite making it to the stage in which Hashem was fully pleased with him. There was always a barrier between himself and Hashem which did not allow him to make it to that final stage. But after so many years of relentless pursuit, the Rabbi saw on the man’s face that he had finally made it to the point in which he had found full favor in Hashem’s eyes, and this is what made him smile the way he did. From this story, it seems clear that if a person uses every available means to reach the point in which Hashem is happy with him, he will ultimately succeed, because there is nothing which pleases Hashem more, then the sincere desire to please Him.
May we all merit to reach this unique stage in which we please our creator!