How to do Teshuva Shleimah (Complete Repentance)

Based entirely on the Sefer Sharei Teshuva by Rabbeinu Yonah from the new English Commentary by Rav Asher Baruch Wegbreit
  1. Regret what you’ve done to yourself
    – see the section Teshuva from the body below
  2. Abandoning the sin
    – Accepting not to sin again in future
    – Identifying the path/roots that led to the sin
  3. Feel anguish over how you acted towards G-d
    – see the section Teshuva from the soul below
  4. Take action to express your pain
    – fasting (deprive yourself of some food you enjoy)
    – crying and lamenting for your sins
  5. Worry and fear about punishment that will come for sins
    – think about troubles and problems that you and others experience and recognize that current sinful behavior may bring troubles (G_d Forbid)
  6. Be embarrassed about what you’ve done
    – act as if you are speaking to a person who caught you during the act when doing Vidui (confession)
    – Be ashamed in light of the fact that Hashem magnanimously forgive your violations of His Will
  7. Humbling Oneself before G-d
    – Think of how much you owe Hashem and take no credit for the good things you do
    – Make a declaration of how great our obligation to Hashem is and declare that Hashem deserves the credit for our success not us
    —> Maybe repeat this a few times
    Humbling oneself before others
    – Avoid letting others upset you today
    – Avoid letting things in the past upset you – let go, after all what are you holding on to?
  8. Humbling oneself in deed
    – Speak softly
    – lowering one’s eyes
    – experience some discomfort akin to sackcloth
  9. Breaking physical desires
    – Decide before you eat what you’re not going to take
    – Have a least a little bit less then you want when eating and drinking
  10. Doing Mitzvas that are the diametric opposite of Averas done
    –  e.g. Learn Torah on the day with the intention of atoning for Loshon Hara and inappropriate thoughts
  11. Searching one’s ways
    – Read Vidui lists and books enumerating the Mitzvos and scroll through a typical day (i.e. Davening, learning, interactions with others)
  12. Investigating the magnitude of punishments for sins one committed
    – Read 3rd Gate of Repentance or ask a rabbi
  13. Regarding lesser transgressions as severe
    – After Davening take time to think of “smaller Averas” committed and realize they are a stepping stone to worse and consider the greatness of the One who told us not to do them
  14. Vidui
    – Have Kavannah when saying we and our predecessors sinned
  15. Request Mercy for atonement rather than punishment for our sins
    – Say this with Kavvanah in the bedtime Krias Shema
  16. Try to make major repairs with damage done with people
    – Express extreme regret to those we’ve hurt and extreme appreciation for what they’ve done for us, do this with family and friends
  17. Proactively do Chesed and learn Torah thoroughly
    – Compliment people today and do some thorough high-quality learning with the goal of understanding what the Gemara is really saying (search for Emes) even if for a brief amount of time
  18. Having one’s sins continuously in the backdrop of one’s consciousness
    – Keep this in mind after davening and when walking back and forth to Yeshiva
  19. Forsaking sins when presented the same opportunity
    – R’ Yonah teaches that fervently learning Mussar as a means to not repeat sin again can achieve the same result (as forsaking sins in the future)
    – Make a Mussar seder even for 5 minutes a day with this intention in mind
  20. Help others do Teshuva
    – Share strategies that have worked for you with others

 

Teshuva Coming from the Body

REGRET: The Seven Inspirations for a Deep Tshuva, Simplified

Ask yourself the following:

  1. How could I have done this to my body? To set myself up for such physical suffering?
    – Here we acknowledge that our sins bring in their wake suffering which is not occurring by chance
  2. How could I have been so cruel to my soul?
    – The soul detests physical indulgence and sin, and is only happy with Torah and Mitzvos
  3. How could I have made such a poor trade-off?
    – Grabbed some temporary sweetness at the expense of endless pleasure and closeness to G-d? Do the math
  4. How could I have acted like an animal?
    – How does it feel to be called a pig? An animal is not guided by reason and neither are we when we sin
  5. Do you realize who you are?
    – An image of G_d
    What you have?
    – A lofty soul
    And what it’s for?
    – To serve the King of kings
    Our sins are a serious misuse of these gifts and privileges
  6. When I’ve sinned I’ve dropped two levels down
    – I have less consciousness of G-d than an animal has of its master
  7. How could I have forgotten the day of my death?
    – This humbling realization should fill our “body” with regret.

 

Teshuva Coming from the Soul

A loftier Form of Regret: Groaning over How We’ve Acted Towards G-d

How to access the feelings of your soul:

Imagine something that breaks your heart or makes you groan in agony (migraine headaches). Then transfer these feelings.

Exclaim to Hashem with your heart:

How could I have disrespected the One who:

  1. Brought me from non-existence to existence
  2. Dealt so kindly with me
  3. Has supported me for every moment of my life
  4. Protected me in each and every second

The more deeply we appreciate the above gifts the more soul-felt will be our regret towards the One to Whom we have sinned