When the Heart Becomes Heavy

by Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

The parsha opens with a striking statement. Hashem tells Moshe, “Bo el Paroh, ki ani hichbadeti es libo” — “Come to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart” (Shemos 10:1). At the beginning Pharaoh repeatedly hardened his own heart but after the first five makkos, the Torah tells us that Hashem Himself hardened Pharaoh’s heart. This immediately raises a powerful question.

Bechirah — free will — is one of the foundations of Yiddishkeit. The Torah itself commands, “U’bacharta bachayim,” choose life. Every person has the ability to choose good or bad. If so, how can Hashem take away Pharaoh’s ability to choose? Without Hashem hardening his heart, Pharaoh would have sent Klal Yisrael out. How can that be?

The Rambam addresses this directly in Hilchos Teshuvah (6:3). He explains that every person begins with full bechirah. However, when a person repeatedly chooses evil, stubbornly and knowingly going against Hashem’s will, he can reach a point where Hashem removes his ability to repent. Pharaoh is the classic example. He refused again and again to listen, even after clear warnings and punishments. As a result, Hashem hardened his heart.

According to the Rambam, this is not only true for Pharaoh. Any person, by committing serious sins or repeating the same sin over and over, can lose bechirah in that area. This is a frightening yesod. A person can reach a point where he no longer feels the aveirah. He does not experience inner resistance. He does not feel that he is doing anything wrong. At that stage, Hashem takes away his bechirah.

Rav Shach famously reacted to this Rambam with fear. “Just like Pharaoh lost his bechirah, any person can lose his bechirah.” That means we must all be very careful and must daven constantly that we not lose sensitivity in any area of avodas Hashem.

He gave simple examples. Does a person feel that getting angry is an aveirah? Does a person feel that chasing kavod is wrong? Often, the answer is no. When a person no longer feels that something is wrong, that itself is the danger.

Not all Rishonim agree with the Rambam. Some explain the hardening of Pharaoh’s heart differently. Targum Yonasan ben Uziel explains that Hashem did not remove Pharaoh’s bechirah, but rather strengthened his inner yetzer hara. After so many makkos, Pharaoh would have felt forced to give in. That would not be true bechirah. Hashem therefore strengthened Pharaoh’s inner desire so that his choice would remain genuine.

This fits with a broader principle. A person’s nekudas habechirah — his point of free choice — shifts over time. For a yeshivah bachur, chilul Shabbos is not a real test. His bechirah may be in smaller areas, such as how he speaks or how careful he is with his learning. For someone else the bechirah may be in much more basic areas. Hashem constantly adjusts the struggle so that free will remains meaningful.

According to this approach, Pharaoh’s true desire was rooted in his arrogance. At the beginning, he denied Hashem’s existence entirely (Shemos 5:2). Later, even when he knew the truth, his arrogance would not allow him to give in. Hashem strengthened that inner drive so Pharaoh could continue choosing — tragically — according to his own corrupted will.

Rav Leib Chasman explains the wording “I have hardened his heart.” In the text “harden” is written “kaveid”. The word kaveid literally means heavy. A heavy object cannot be moved. Pharaoh knew the truth internally. He knew Hashem existed but his heart was covered over by a weight of pride that he could not move aside. The truth was there, but inaccessible.

This is not unique to Pharaoh. For example a person can know, intellectually, that money is not the real purpose of life. Yet he may still run after money, even doing issurim for it. The knowledge exists, but the heart is weighed down with his desires.

What can a person do to escape this state?

Rav Leib Chasman gives two central eitzos. The first is Torah. Chazal say, “Barasi yetzer hara, barasi Torah tavlin” (Kiddushin 30b). Torah has the power to erase unhealthy desires and replace them with a desire for ruchniyus. Immersing oneself in Torah draws a person toward light and clarity.

The second is tefillah. The Gemara Kiddushin (30b) teaches that without Hashem’s help, a person cannot overcome the yetzer hara. Hashem says: ask Me, and I will help you. A person should add a few personal words every day, asking Hashem for help to overcome these inner pulls. The Gemara in Berachos (17a) records tefillos that Amora’im added at the end of Shemoneh Esrei to overcome their yetzer hara.

Rav Wolbe adds another layer. Do not only daven to be saved from bad desires. Daven to strengthen good desires. Daven that your heart should want Hashem’s will more strongly. We say every day, “V’yiftach libeinu b’Toraso, v’yasem b’libeinu ahavaso v’yiraso, u’le’ovdo b’levav shalem.” We ask Hashem to open our hearts to Torah and to place love and fear of Him inside our hearts. A strong positive heart can overpower negative desires.

This means putting more heart into everything we do. Learning with more excitement. Davening with more feeling. Doing chesed with more warmth. These are not small things. They shape the heart.

I saw a living example of this in my father-in-law, Rabbi Elimelech Meller. He was a tremendous gaon and a true ba’al ma’aseh, but what stood out most was his great heart — in Torah and in bein adam lachaveiro. From a young age until an old one, he learned with extraordinary zeal. Even in his later years, Torah never became routine. He learned in Mir and with Reb Nachum, spending hours learning with him, even staying late into the night, simply because his love of Torah could not pull him away.

That same heart expressed itself in caring for others. He greeted everyone warmly, tried to give each person a short vort to lift their spirits, and constantly thought about how to help. When a fellow in his kollel became mentally ill, he stayed with him — even the entire Yom Kippur — so he would not be alone.

Once, his granddaughter accidentally put salt instead of sugar into his tea. He drank the whole cup. When asked how he could do that, he said, “Everything my granddaughter makes is sweet.”

May we be zocheh to serve Hashem with a strong heart.