Truth-seekers

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah

Yosef reveals his identity to his brothers: “I am Yosef, is my father still alive?” The Medrash comments on this with words that seem designed to terrify: “Woe to us for the day of judgment, woe to us for the day of rebuke!” (Bereishis Rabba 93). Yosef’s brothers could not bear the fact that this was Yosef, whom they had sold, now addressing them. The Medrash brings a second example: Bilaam, the greatest sage of the gentiles, could not withstand the rebuke of his donkey.  All the more so when Hashem will rebuke us at the End of Days, how will we be able to withstand it?

The question is, all Yosef said was: “I am Yosef, is my father still alive?” What exactly was his rebuke? Moreover, how is this “rebuke” supposed to serve as a lesson to all generations to prepare for Hashem’s rebuke at the End of Days?

The Beis Halevi answers that Yosef’s rebuke was in the words: “Is my father still alive?” This wasn’t meant literally, because Yehuda had already told Yosef that Yaakov was alive. Rather, his rebuke was, why are you so concerned that Yaakov will die when he finds out that Binyamin remained a slave in Egypt? Where was all that concern for your father when you sold me?

The lesson for us is that we contradict ourselves. We claim we have no time to learn Torah, yet somehow we find a wealth of time to chat about mundane matters. We claim we have no money for tzedaka, yet when vacation time comes, we suddenly have all sorts of resources. All the time, energy and resources that we channel to our material existence should at least be matched by an equal investment of time, energy and resources in spiritual achievements. If this is not the case, Hashem will rebuke us for it.

Rav Steinman notes that the Beis Halevi’s explanation does not apply to the rebuke of Bilaam’s donkey. The donkey reproached Bilaam, asking: “Have I ever veered off the path like this? Have I not served you loyally for years?” The donkey’s message has nothing to do with contradictory behavior. If the Medrash puts these two rebukes together, they must have a common message. What is it?

Rav Steinman explains that the donkey’s message to Bilaam was: If you would stop hitting me and think a moment, you would realize that this is not just a chance occurrence. Think about what is happening and realize that you are making a mistake. If you would be interested in the truth, you would reach it.

This was Yosef’s message as well. Although his brothers surely sought the truth, there evidently was a higher level of truth-seeking that they could have reached. Had they worked harder to reach it, they would have been willing to consider that perhaps Yosef’s dreams were prophecies (as was the case).

So too, we may be doing many things that we think are perfectly acceptable, but if we seek the truth, we may see that this is not the case at all. If we don’t make a concerted effort to seek the truth, we may be way off the mark. We may think that we are behaving properly when in fact we are committing transgressions. Moreover, these same transgressions may even appear to us as mitzvos!

How can we grow as truth-seekers? In Mesilas Yesharim (chapter 3), the Ramchal writes that one must have a permanent system of self-analysis. He must scrutinize his deeds regularly, and not in an off-hand manner. Short of this, one will be unable to detect his own flaws, and may even assume that his life is full of mitzvos and maasim tovim when it is not.

The Ramchal adds in Derech Eitz Chaim that one should invest hours in such self-analysis. He should ask himself: How did the Avos behave? What would they have done in my situation? On our level, we should ask ourselves: What would a person who is greater than me do in this case? Would he act the way I acted? Is this really what Hashem expects of me?

If a person learns mussar every day, trying to apply every lesson to himself, he will quickly discover the aspects of his character that need work. This will give him the discerning eye needed to identify falsehoods in his ways and correct them.

Once, Rav Shach mentioned this idea at his home, that people need to learn mussar every day. Among those present was Rav Chaim Friedlander and an elderly Rav. The elderly Rav replied that personally, in the past he needed to learn mussar regularly, but today he feels he is beyond such a stage.

Rav Shach, visibly agitated, exclaimed: “There is no such thing as ‘not needing to learn mussar!'”

Rav Chaim Friedlander later asked Rav Shach: “Who knows? Perhaps this elderly Rav has reached a level where he does not need a daily dose of mussar?”

Rav Shach replied: “A person who doesn’t learn mussar cannot understand how much mussar can help him.”

Rav Shach always analyzed his actions to see if they were a reflection of Hashem’s will. Rav Moshe Jungreis, a close associate of Rav Shach, recalls: “Once, on a hot, muggy summer day I saw that the air conditioning system in the Ponovezh Yeshiva was not working. I asked Rav Shach: ‘Please, stay at home this afternoon. It will be easier for you to learn, and I will inform the bachurim who come to you that you are learning in your house.'”

At first, Rav Shach agreed, but after a few minutes, Rav Jungreis was surprised to see him in the yeshiva.

“I don’t know when my last moment will come,” explained Rav Shach. “Maybe the malach hamaves (angel of death) will come now. When the beis din shel maala asks me why I wasn’t in the yeshiva and I’ll explain that the air conditioning wasn’t working, I’m not sure if they will accept this explanation.”

May we be zoche to learn mussar regularly and seek the truth!

Exciting news! Rabbi Krieger will soon be publishing a sefer featuring the “best” of the weekly Parsha sheet. If you would like to share in this celebration, please go to www.bircas.org for further details.