The Light of Humility

Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

Parshas Vayikra begins with Hashem calling to Moshe. In the previous essay, we explained that the word “vayikra” indicates Hashem’s love for Moshe. We said that the difference between love and coldness was indicated by an aleph at the end of the word. Why is this aleph written smaller than the rest of the word?

The Ba’al HaTurim explains that when Moshe was commanded to write “vayikra,” he objected. He didn’t want to show the world that he had a close relationship with Hashem. Moshe, as the most humble man on Earth, did not want people to know that his prophecy was any higher than that of others. Though Hashem required him to write “vayikra,” Moshe did so only with a small aleph, so as not to draw attention to Hashem’s special relationship with him.

One may wonder, though: this is not the first appearance of the word “vayikra” used regarding a prophecy of Moshe’s. Why did Moshe write a small aleph here, instead of where the Torah writes of his prophecy the first time (Shemos 3:4)?

Rav Shach explains that Moshe acquired the highest level of humility right away. However, his humility was an ongoing process; he was constantly working on it. At first, Moshe had no problem spelling the word “vayikra” without objecting. Now, though, after building up his humility, Moshe felt that he could not write such a word regarding himself.

The Kotzker Rebbe explains an enigmatic comment in Midrash Tanchuma (at the end of Parshas Ki Sisa) based on this Ba’al HaTurim. The verse states (Shemos 34:30) that Moshe’s face shone. The Midrash explains that the shine was caused by the extra ink left over from his writing of the Sefer Torah.

What does extra ink have to do with Moshe’s face having exceptional light? The Rebbe explains that the extra ink that Moshe had was left over from his choice to write “vayikra” with a small aleph. That “leftover ink” represents Moshe’s humility. This humility was what made Moshe so holy that his face reflected the light of the Shechinah.

This may sound like something unique, but the Ramban states (Iggeres HaRamban) that this is something every Jew can reach, each on his own level: “When you conduct yourself in the manner of humility . . . the spirit of the Shechinah and the luminescence of its glory will dwell upon you.”

We all have an inherent desire for recognition and honor. In fact, though other desires tend to diminish in intensity as we grow older, the desire for honor does not. Additionally, growing in Torah can increase our desire to be honored for our achievements.

How can we work on our humility? Rav Shlomo Wolbe suggests several ways: We should work on our davening. We shouldn’t daven just to get our obligation out of the way. Instead, we must work hard to instill in ourselves a sense of utter dependency on Hashem. This brings us humility.

Another way is to be a modeh al ha’emes, one who is willing to admit his mistakes. Anyone who learns with a chavrusa (study partner) knows how difficult this can be, but it brings us very far in building our humility. Even those who don’t learn with a chavrusa can train themselves to accept what others have to say. Of course, one who merits to serve a great tzaddik, and who feels complete hisbatlus (subjugation) to him, has already gained a level of humility.

Lastly, we can remind ourselves of our own mortality. We may feel that what we are accomplishing is exemplary. However, in the World of Truth, a different, objective standard is applied. How will we measure up to that standard when our time in this world will end? Will we even be considered adequate in the eyes of the Heavenly court in front of which we will have to account for our lives? Aside from being a good motivator, this thought is quite humbling.

A great Torah scholar once entered the Slobodka Yeshivah where Rav Yitzchak Zilberstein was learning, to test the students with a difficult question on the Gemara that they were studying.

As the bachurim discussed possible answers with each other, Rav Zilberstein noticed that a bachur in a corner whispered an answer to his friend. He then instructed his friend to tell it over, adding, “Don’t tell anyone that I said it. I don’t want any acclaim for it.”

As his friend started saying the answer, all other discussion stopped. His answer was enthusiastically accepted by all those present.

Rav Zilberstein was moved by the student’s insistence that he not receive any honor, and his willingness for his friend to receive it instead. He resolved to find out more about him.

It turns out that he had a tragic history. He had barely survived the Holocaust, and he was all alone in Eretz Yisrael. Rav Zilberstein decided to check in on him periodically, to see what would become of him. He saw that this young man merited constant help from Hashem, and eventually became one of the leading disseminators of Torah.

Rav Zilberstein comments, “We cannot know for sure how he merited this, but I suggest that it was because of his exceptional humility.”

May we be zocheh to grow in humility and reflect Hashem’s Divine light!

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