Thirsting for Torah

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

If we look at the names of the chagim, we find that Shavuos stands apart. The names Pesach and Sukkos express ideas that are basic to the holiday that they represent. “Pesach” expresses how the Angel of Death passed over the houses of the Bnei Yisrael during the plague of the first-born, sparing Klal Yisrael. “Sukkos” expresses that Hashem had us dwell in sukkos throughout the forty years in the Midbar; or, this represents the Clouds of Glory that sheltered us during those years. Shavuos means “weeks,” whereas this is the holiday celebrating the Giving of the Torah. How does “weeks” express something basic about the holiday?

Rav Yerucham Olshin (based on Menoras Hamaor 3:4 and Sefer Hachinuch 306) says that the name Shavuos is for the weeks we counted to reach Matan Torah. This counting expresses our deep desire to acquire Torah, showing that we simply cannot wait to receive it. This desire is very important, because only if we thirst for Torah will Hashem give it to us. That’s why this chag is named “Shavuos,” to emphasize that we must be eager to receive Torah and thirst for it.

It’s easy to say that we thirst for Torah, but if this were true, it would make a profound impact on our lives. Rav Shlomo Heiman used to comment that most of us, if we’d be asked if we want to know Shas, would say, “yes, of course!” But if so, the Sages state that “in the way a man wants to go, he is led” (Makos 10b). If we would really want to know Shas, we would get the siyata deShemaya to achieve this. Why isn’t this happening? It must be that we don’t desire Torah enough. Our thirst for it is lacking.

Baruch Ber Leibowitz would say that a real desire for Torah means that we want Torah more than anything else in life, and we’re willing to devote ourselves completely to its study.

Rav Shach recounted that in his youth, he met an elderly man who told him that when he was young, he learned in a yeshiva where there was a bachur for whom learning was very hard. He would go from table to table in the beis midrash, asking others to explain the Gemara to him. Bachurim tried, but soon gave up, as this bachur was very slow. Learning one line of Gemara needed a half-hour of explanation; no one had the patience for him.

“At one point he asked me,” recalled the elderly man, “and I agreed to try. After a half-hour, he finally understood one line of Gemara and my patience had worn out. He wanted to learn more with me, but I told him I could not.

“Later, I noticed that he was sitting in a corner with his head down. I walked over to see what he was doing, and saw that he was holding a siddur and saying the ahava rabba prayer, with tears, begging: ‘Merciful Father, please put in my heart the ability to learn Your Torah with love.’

“When I saw this, I had pity on him and decided to give him a bit more time. We learned for another stretch, but I eventually lost patience and told him I had to stop.

“All this happened many years ago,” the elderly man concluded to Rav Shach. “Meanwhile, I went on to become a nobody, and that bachur went on to become one of the great Rabbanim of this generation.”

Rav Shach would conclude: “This shows that a person has to want Torah so much that he actually comes to tears, crying to Hashem for it!”

Many of us are far from the level of crying to Hashem to receive Torah. This requires work, and a way to get there is to strengthen our appreciation of and respect for Torah. We have an example of this from an Amora himself. Every year on Shavuos, Rav Yosef would make a great seuda, at which he would declare: “Were it not for Torah, how may ‘Yosefs’ are there in the marketplace?” (Pesachim 68b) Why did Rav Yosef say this every year? Clearly, he tried to teach that on Shavuos especially, we have to work on appreciating Torah and its awesome impact on our lives.

We should appreciate that learning Torah brings us closer to Hashem. It stops us from sinning and doing petty things, refining us and building our personality. Torah also brings us satisfaction and peace of mind. Can any material pleasure compare to Torah?

Perhaps this is what the Shlah Hakadosh meant in writing (Ner Mitzva 18, Maseches Shavuos) that on Shavuos, we should rejoice not only for receiving the Torah but also for receiving the “crown of Torah.” Living according to the Torah and studying it makes us like royalty, elevated above all mankind. Indeed, the sages state that one who learns Torah has no reason to be jealous of the wealthy or even royal families, “because your crown is greater than theirs” (Avos 6:4).

Part of appreciating Torah is feeling a desire to be in a makom Torah (a place of Torah). The sages relate (Avos 6:9) that Rabbi Yossi Bar Kisma was once approached by a man offering him exceptional wealth if he would come and live in this man’s city. Rabbi Yossi Bar Kisma refused, saying: “If you’ll give me all the gold and silver in the world, I will only live in a makom Torah.”

Why couldn’t Rabbi Yossi Bar Kisma have accepted the offer and then built a yeshiva in that man’s city? If money was not an issue, he could slowly but surely bring chachamim there and establish a new makom Torah. Why didn’t he?

Midrash Shmuel (Avos 4:18) explains that a “makom Torah” means a place where everyone fully respects and appreciates Torah. When everyone is united in this mindset, there is siyata deShemaya (Heavenly assistance) to acquire Torah. Rabbi Yossi Bar Kisma understood that in this man’s city, even if he would build a yeshiva, he and his talmidim would still have to interact with the surrounding population, and they wouldn’t have this siyata deShemaya.

Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus, we are away from our yeshiva. Even though we may be learning with chavrusos and hearing shiurim on-line, it’s not the same. When we are all together in our makom Torah, everyone wants to grow and help each other. The trappings of gashmius are far away, and we have the close guidance of the Rosh Yeshiva. All these combine to give us exceptional siyata deShemaya to acquire Torah.

When Shavuos comes, we should be yearning to return to our makom Torah. We should daven that Hashem help us and all yeshivos to re-open, and make a resolution that at the first possible chance to return, we will.

May we be zocheh to be back and learning together very soon!