NISYONOS: Bring Out the Best in Us

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

In Pirkei Avos 3 we learn that Avraham Avinu was faced with ten nisayonos (tests). The Tosfos Yom Tov explains on this Mishna that through withstanding each of these nisayonos, Avraham gained the title Avinu, “our father,” and as a father, he acquired the power to help his descendants for all generations after him.

Only, we should ask: We know that Avraham Avinu was the first man to reach emuna in Hashem on his own, despite the world of idolatry in which he was raised. Moreover, once he mastered the subject of emuna he went on to spread it and bring many people to belief in Hashem (Rashi and Onkelos 12:5). The Rambam (Laws of Avoda Zara 1:3) says that Avraham would travel from place to place engaging people in arguments in which he was able to convince them of the existence of one G-d, and the Gemara (Sotah 10) describes how Avraham Avinu ran what was literally a hotel in Be’er Sheva, where he gave people food and instructed them about making brachos. This was his way of introducing them to the concept of a Creator Who showers His creation with kindliness. And yet, Avraham’s achievement in emuna (either his own or his kiruv work) is not mentioned together with his ten niysonos. If the Mishna is relating the praises of Avraham Avinu, shouldn’t his work in emuna appear, and maybe even first? Isn’t emuna the very foundation of Yiddishkeit?

We can find an answer in chapter 6 of a sefer written by the Ramban called Emuna and Bitachon. Avraham Avinu’s efforts in emuna and kiruv were not done because Hashem commanded him to do so, rather they stemmed from his purity of heart and were an expression of his own personality. By contrast, each of the tests Avraham Avinu endured went against his nature and his will. Indeed, bringing many people to emuna was an awesome accomplishment, but what makes a person great are the actions he does leshem Shamayim that go against his nature. These are what truly build a person.

Akeidas Yitzchak is of course the most dramatic example of being ordered to go against one’s nature. Still, all of Avraham Avinu’s tests involved breaking his nature, to greater or lesser extent.

In his comments on the Akeida, the Ramban (22:1) brings out another important aspect of the role of tests in Avraham’s life and in our lives. When Hashem tests a person, the goal is not for Hashem to see if the person can withstand the test, but rather for the benefit of the one being tested, to enable him to actualize the potential that exists dormant within him.

Meaning, Avraham Avinu was full of idealism and willingness to serve Hashem, but this had to be realized in the realm of actions, and in ways that Avraham would never have chosen on his own. This brought out Avraham Avinu’s true spiritual madreiga.

The same is true for all of the tests that we face. We too have dormant strengths and abilities, and if we are not forced through tests to actualize them, they may remain dormant forever. What a shame it would be for a person to go through life unaware of the awesome capabilities he possesses! It is for our good that we are tested; for many of us tests may be our only chance of achieving greatness.

Rav Gedalia Shor, citing the Ramban, notes that nisyonos sometimes help in an added way: A person might know full well that he possesses a certain strength, but for a variety of reasons he does not make use of it. Perhaps he sees the work before him as overwhelming, perhaps he does not sufficiently value the contribution he can make, or he arrives at the false conclusion that he’s not obligated to make use of his strengths because he lacks either the time, resources, energy, etc.

For example, a person knows that deep inside, he has the ability to be a great baal chessed. He has a discerning eye to notice where help is needed, he has creative solutions and the energy to implement them. Only, he is lazy, and therefore none of his great ideas ever see the light of day. Then, a nisayon comes along: someone in the family falls ill and the upkeep of the household falls on his shoulders alone. Suddenly, all of his innate knack for chessed comes to the fore, and even after the family situation returns to normal, he may (hopefully) resolve to continue making use of this new aspect of him that the nisayon brought out.

Seeing the good in nisyonos can help us greatly, because life is full of nisyonos. Mesilas Yesharim (Perek 1) states that everything in life is a test, be it wealth or poverty, suffering or serenity, etc. Particularly in our generation, where every little thing upsets us, we may make the error of assuming that “when everything is in order, only then can I really learn, or daven, or maintain a sound relationship with my spouse and/or children.” If we realize that the difficulties we face are not there to serve as justifications for being “patur” from doing our best, but rather deliberately placed obstacles designed to bring out the best in us, we can truly benefit from tests in the way the Ramban describes. Instead of wishing a certain hindrance would just go away, we should ask ourselves: “What’s in this for me? What bit of greatness do I possess that this test requires me to make use of?”

Rav Zelig Pliskin writes of a teenager who was very bright and popular — and he knew it (i.e., he was a baal gaava).  This teen had every reason to believe that he would be elected student body president, and yet somehow he lost the election. Some people used the election as a way to teach him a lesson not to be so vain and haughty, others felt it was right to vote for the underdog, and others felt that the other candidate really needed the chizuk of winning. Either way, the one who was sure he would win suddenly discovered that he was a “loser,” and it shattered his whole impression of himself. Slowly, he came to realize that he had a problem of gaava, and losing the election got him to begin focusing properly on Hakadosh Baruch Hu and the people around him. This brought about a tremendous change in his life, one that set him on the proper course and has benefitted him ever since.

At the time it seemed as though his life was over, but looking back, losing that election was the best thing that could have happened to him.

May we be zoche to recognize the benefit of nisyonos and pass them with flying colors!

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