All of Me

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

Hashem praises Pinchas in the strongest terms. The verse says, “Pinchas ben Elazar ben Aharon HaKohen turned back My wrath from upon the Bnei Yisrael, by his being zealous with My zeal among them, so that I did not consume the Bnei Yisrael in My zeal”. (Bamidbar 25:11). Hashem even traces his lineage all the way back to his grandfather, Aharon HaKohen.

Rashi explains why. The Shevatim were embarrassing Pinchas. They said: Look at this man — his mother’s father, Yisro, was once a priest of idol worship, and look what his grandson did, killing a prince of Israel. So the verse comes and traces him back to Aharon HaKohen, showing that both of his lineages were sterling.

This raises a real question. Why were the Shevatim embarrassing him in the first place? Pinchas had done something great. There was a plague killing Klal Yisrael, and he stopped it. He killed Zimri, who was sinning publicly with a Midianis woman, and the law was that this was permitted, even called for. Everyone else had forgotten the law in the moment; Pinchas remembered it and acted. How could anyone criticise him for saving Klal Yisrael?

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz explains what was really going on. Jewish law permits a bystander to kill someone who is brazenly and publicly sinning with a non-Jewish woman. But there is a crucial condition: this ruling is never to be taught or instructed. Only someone whose zeal for Hashem’s honor is completely pure may act on it. The instant any other motive is mixed in — anger, personal honor, something to prove — the act stops being zealousness for Hashem and becomes plain murder.

This is what the Shevatim were questioning. Maybe Pinchas’s zeal wasn’t fully pure. Maybe, deep down, he was trying to prove that his family had truly repented for his grandfather’s idol worship. Maybe some other motive was mixed in, even one he himself didn’t fully recognise. If so the act of killing Zimri was not justified.

Hashem’s answer was to point to Aharon. Pinchas like Aharon HaKohen was by nature a lover and pursuer of peace, gentle and warm. If even a person with that nature acted with such force, it could only be because the act came purely for the sake of Heaven, with nothing personal mixed in.

Rav Yosef Elefant added a sharpening point here. If Pinchas’ whole nature was loving and peaceful, how did he suddenly act with such force? Wasn’t this out of character? Rav Elefant explains that it wasn’t a contradiction at all. Pinchas had great love inside him, but he also had great strength inside him. He simply used each quality exactly where Hashem wanted it used. When Hashem wanted love, he brought love — drawing close every Jew, pursuing peace. When Hashem wanted zealousness, because there was a desecration of His name taking place, he brought that just as strongly. Every quality he had was a tool, placed wherever Hashem’s will called for it. His whole self was in the service of Hashem.

The Sforno (Bamidbar 25:12) adds a magnificent point.  Because Pinchas was so complete — his entire self, every quality he had, bent toward serving Hashem — he reached true wholeness. That is why he received the Bris Shalom, a covenant of peace.  The treaty of peace was even with the Angel of Death. The Angel of Death has power over a person specifically when there is a struggle, a pull between different parts of himself. Where someone is truly whole, there is nothing for him to take hold of. This is why Pinchas lived a very long life and some even say that he became Eliyahu HaNavi and he never died at all.

We are not on the level of Pinchas. But the Mesillas Yesharim, in the chapters on purity, tells us we have to strive toward this at least in some way. He points out how that even when a person does a good deed he can easily mix it in with an outside motive — a desire for honor or for recognition. He brings the well-known story of the daughter of Chananya ben Teradyon: when she heard people praising her, she walked a little more gracefully because of it. The Mesillas Yesharim says that this alone diminished her act considerably. We have to work hard to do what we do purely for Hashem, without that extra layer mixed in.

Our character traits need the same work, maybe even more so. We try to be pleasant to our friends, but the moment someone slights us or embarrasses us, we become very angry and sometimes we hold a grudge and can’t let it go. Chazal tell us that anyone who gives in to anger is considered as if he worshipped idols. They also say (Baba Metzia 30b) to go beyond the letter of the law in treating others well and because people didn’t do so this caused the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. It is not easy to completely meet these demanding standards.

So what practical advice can a person use? Rav Dessler points to the Gemara in Pesachim (50b): “a person should always stay involved in Torah and mitzvos even for impure reasons, because through this involvement he will eventually bring himself to do it for the right reasons.” This means to say that even if you’re involved in mitzvos for honor or recognization understand that this is only a starting point and eventually your goal is to reach loftier heights.   Having this desire will help you one day to do it just for sake of Hashem.

Rav Dessler gave an example from his own childhood. His family would get up early on Shabbos to learn together, and as a young boy it was hard for him to get up. So his mother would make him special latkes to give him the push he needed. He said: the truth is, even then, I wanted to learn — but I needed that extra taste to find the energy. That is this principle in practice — using something extra to get started, while never losing sight of the real goal.

The same approach works with our character — specifically with anger, and with letting things go. A person cannot simply will himself out of his nature overnight. But he can talk himself into starting. He can tell himself: my life will be better if I let this go. The (Sha’arei Teshuvah 1:31)  says that one who forgives, gains more friends and an easier life. A person can begin there – not yet because Hashem wants him to forgive but because it good for him and that too, knowing that this is the first step toward one day doing it for the right reasons.

Also have in mind a second benefit as well. When a person works on judging his friend favorably, looking past the slight to see the good underneath, Hashem judges him the same way in return. We may not have perfected our own service of Hashem, but if we look at others with that kind of generosity, Hashem responds to us with that same generosity.

Rav Shteinman would encourage people along these same lines, though he gave a different reason. He did not tell people to give in because it would make life easier. He told them: don’t think that giving in means you lost. The real winner is the one who gives in, because that is the person Hashem will stand behind. Hashem helps the person who was oppressed. He would say that he never once saw someone who gave up a fight end up losing from it — only gaining.

May we be zocheh to bring every part of ourselves — our character and our actions, into the service of Hashem, completely for His sake.