פרשת כי תצא
In this week’s parsha, the Torah discusses the death penalty to be imposed upon a rebellious 13 year-old boy who is called by the Torah a “ben sorrer u’moreh.” The ben sorrer u’moreh is an adolescent who steals a considerable amount of meat and wine from his parents and gluttonously consumes it in another location. The window of time that one can be punished as a ben sorrer u’moreh is limited just extending three months after the young man becomes bar mitzvah. Once a man reaches the age of 13 years and 3 months, he is no longer young enough to be considered a “son” and is therefore exempted from the punishment of stoning which is inflicted upon a ben sorrer u’moreh. However, why does the Torah demand such harsh punishment specifically for a young man who has just become bar mitzvah? Why does the Torah only single out and punish bar mitzvah boys for mischievous and gluttonous behavior and not fully-matured adults as well? If anything, the Torah should be more lenient when it comes to those who have just taken upon themselves the obligation to do mitzvos!
The Ramban says that the main problem of the ben sorrer u’moreh is that his behavior divorces him from kedusha and eternally cuts him off from the path of avodas Hashem. The Sabba of Kelm elaborates that this act of gluttony is especially treacherous for a young man who has just become bar mitzvah. This is the time when he should be building the foundation of his relationship with G-d. For an individual to spurn spirituality and instead pursue base behavior at such a special and momentous time in his life indicates his future direction. To reject and cut one’s self off from holiness just after one’s bar mitzvah irreversibly severs one’s potential for growth and separates him from his very essence as a Jew. The ben sorrer u’moreh cannot be absolved for such a display of unabashed rebelliousness. The Slonimer Rebbe says that before the giving of the Torah, G-d told the Jewish people that He chose them so that they may become a “kingdom of priests and a holy nation.” The very basis of our connection to Hashem is the holiness for which we are expected to strive. By casting off holiness just when it should be taking root, the ben sorrer u’moreh is actually missing out on his opportunity to attain kedusha, and the mitzvos themselves will not be able to help him anymore. All the mitzvos are designed to bring us close to Hashem, Who is holy. The ben sorrer u’moreh, because of his repulsion to holiness, is no longer able to cling to Hashem and therefore is no longer considered worthy of living among G-d’s holy nation.
Rav Yisrael Meir Lau, in his commentary to Pirkei Avos, expands on this idea and says that not only must a new bar mitzvah boy be concerned for his own level of kedusha. All of us must realize that kedusha is extremely critical for our avodas Hashem in every phase of our lives. Moreover, Kedusha is especially important if we want to grow in our Torah learning. As the Mishna in Pirkei Avos 6:4 says, “This is the way of Torah: Bread with salt you should eat, water in measure you should drink, on the ground you should sleep, a life of pain you shall live, and in Torah you shall toil!” If one is overindulgent, it will ultimately interfere with his quest for Torah wisdom and he will not be able to reach the lofty levels of understanding that he so desperately desires. The Vilna Gaon in his commentary to Mishlei 2:19 even claims that lust is actually the opposite of the Torah and the two cannot coexist. Torah can only be attained if a person separates himself from the temptations of the world and engages solely in learning Torah. Only then can the Torah truly affect a person and become a part of his being. One must make a choice about what he wants in life. Does he want to pursue his learning or does he want to pursue his base desires? A true commitment to strive for kedusha is really a commitment to the Torah itself.
The Shla HaKadosh related that before going to his chuppa, he went to his Rebbi to ask him for a bracha and words of guidance as he prepared to embark on a new stage in his life. The Shla’s Rebbi told him, “You need to be very careful about two things. You have to do everything with kedusha, particularly when eating and when with your wife. Even if you are engaging in permitted pleasure, you must do so lesheim shamayim. If you do so, a great light will come to you and open up your entire avodas Hashem!” The Shla took the counsel of his Rebbi very seriously and later in his life he said that this advice is what helped him become the great man that he was.
May we all be zoche to strive for kedusha!!!