פרשת מטות
This week’s Parsha tells us how the Jewish people were commanded to take revenge against the people of Midian for the underhanded way in which they enticed the Jews to sin in the previous Parsha. The Jews, with Elazar at their head, successfully smote all of the Midianite males until there were none left standing. However, when they returned, Moshe Rabenu expressed his disappointment and anger toward the Jewish people, because although they killed all the Midianite men, they left the women and livestock to be taken captive by the Jewish people. Moshe felt that the Jews should have been sensitive to the fact that these were the very women who had deceitfully coerced them to sin and should have eradicated them as well and as a result of that, he displayed his consternation toward the Jewish people. Shortly after this episode, the Torah tells us how Eliezer was commanded to give over the laws of Kashrus to the Jewish people. The Gemorah in Pesachim (66b) asks why it was that Eliezer was responsible for giving over these statutes and not Moshe, who was the usual emissary of God for these purposes. The Gemorah answers that because Moshe felt a slight rise of anger at the Jewish people when they did not execute the Midianite women, he forgot some of the more intricate laws of Kashrus and was therefore not capable of giving over these laws. Similarly, Chazal teach us that when Moshe became angry with the Jewish people and struck the rock to produce water, he forgot certain laws in the Torah.
R’ Chaim Shmulevitz explains that Moshe Rabenu was clearly justified in his anger. Hashem commanded the Jewish people to wipe out Midian specifically because of the wicked way in which the females acted. This being the case, God obviously did not want the Jewish people to spare them. Moshe was therefore undoubtedly justified in his heated rebuke of the Jewish people. Furthermore, many commentaries explain that Moshe’s anger was only an outward display toward the Jewish people to try to convince them to repent and see the error of their ways. We know that God Himself testifies that Moshe Rabenu was the most humble of all men, and was therefore not generally prone to any anger. Yet even with all these factors, look how seriously Moshe is punished for even associating himself with this terrible trait of anger. R’ Chaim would emphatically point out from these frightening words of Chazal how insidious and damaging the trait of anger can be.
Truthfully, there are many references is Chazal to the destructive nature of this awful trait. The Gemorah in Nedarim, (22b) says that anybody who gets angry is susceptible to a wide variety of fires in Gehenom. The Gemorah also says that anybody who gets angry, it is as if he has worshiped idols for the obvious reason that anger by definition is a denial of the justness of God in any given situation. Yet from these events in this week’s Parsha, we see an even finer level of damage that anger can inflict. Even though Moshe received the Torah directly from God, and even though Moshe’s anger was infinitesimal, his small affiliation with this trait caused him to fall spiritually. We see from here that anger is not only a sin which warrants punishment in its own right, but even causes a person to descend on the spiritual ladder that he has worked so hard to climb. Needless to say how it behooves us, whose entire lives are dedicated to growing spiritually, to distance ourselves from this treacherous Midah.
R’ Volbe used to advise that there are two ways to overcome anger. The more obtuse way is to simply try not to let one’s temper rise when he is in a situation which is not going according to his liking. But R’ Volbe would explain that this way is very inefficient, because there are times that he will succeed, and times that he won’t. However the second way, R’ Volbe offers, is to uproot the entire source of the trait of anger. The way to do this is to habituate oneself in the trait of patience. To continuously and constantly accustom oneself to accept any situation he is in without ever feeling a rise in himself. When a person does this, he will achieve a true sense of bliss, becoming completely unaffected by the events around him. R’ Volbe would add that this does not by any means imply that a person should never speak up for themselves, or object to improprieties around them, but it does mean that these objections will be made in a level-headed way, without an outburst of any kind. It will be a calm and collected decision to attempt to rectify the unacceptable situation that a person may find himself in. A person must accustom himself over the course of months or even years to completely removing the vision that he has of himself as someone who is capable of an eruption of anger, and in place of that vision, must plant the self-perception of one who maintains his equilibrium during any situation. This is the only true way one will be successful at completely removing the traces of this detrimental trail.
R’ Volbe would continue his exquisite insight on patience by saying that it is necessary in every facet of our lives. In Hebrew the word for patience (סבל) is the same word as the word for one who lifts heavy objects. He would explain that we as human beings all have something in common. We all inhabit the same earth. In order to coexist, it is necessary for us to “carry” each other’s inadequacies and idiosyncrasies. This crucial trait is not only necessary for the elite Torah scholars, but should be acquired by every Jew, and indeed by every citizen of this planet. In marriage, patience is certainly the primary quality for a spouse to possess. In fact, the word in Hebrew for marriage, “לשאת” also means to carry. Each spouse must accept the other’s faults and compensate for them in every way they can. And of course the most difficult area of daily life to maintain one’s equilibrium is when one is attempting to raise children. One has to overlook the fact that he has warned his children not to do something 35 million times, and try to correct them with the same patience he had when he told them the first time. As difficult as this may sound, it is equally critical to the success of child rearing. Only when one maintains a true sense of equilibrium when raising his children can he successfully fulfill the dictum of Chazal, “To raise each child according to their nature”. By definition we get angry when things don’t go our way. But if we are overly focused on our way, we cannot be focused on the benefit of the child and what he or she is really trying to tell us.
R’ Volbe would conclude by pointing out that although all that we have said sounds extremely challenging to implement, one must be aware that it is the only path to true greatness. The Gemorah in Shabbos, (88b) says that one who gets insulted, but does not respond, displays the same strength of character as the mighty sun itself. The Gemorah in Chulin, (89a) says, that the world only stands because of those who hold their tongue during an argument. One should be encouraged by the fact that if he puts in the monumental effort to reach this state of calm in which the external influences in his life have no bearing on his inner peace, he will obviously enjoy the great returns in this world, and the next.
May we all merit to strive for, and to achieve this great quality of patience!