What We Should Care About
By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah
In Parshas Toldos, we see that Esav was willing to sell to Yaakov all of his spiritual privileges as a firstborn (the “bechora“) in order to receive some lentil soup. Although it seems surprising that he could give up something as great as the bechora for so little in return, the Medrash (Yalkut Shimoni Bereishis 25:34) reveals that Yaakov and Esav had in fact made a similar exchange even earlier.
The Medrash relates that while the two were still fetuses in RIvka Imeinu’s womb, Yaakov offered to give Esav his share in olam hazeh, and Yaakov would take Esav’s share in olam haba in return. Yaakov explained that in olam hazeh people eat and drink, they marry and build families, but olam haba is a purely spiritual world where none of that exists. Esav accepted Yaakov’s offer.
Rav Yerucham Brodiansky asks, Chazal (Niddah 30b) teach us that the fetus is a spiritual being entirely unconnected to this world. While it is in the womb, it learns the entire Torah from an angel. Why, as a fetus, would Esav have agreed to forego olam haba in order to get olam hazeh? If it is difficult to understand how Esav could sell his bechora for a meal, it seems impossible to understand how Esav, as a spiritual fetus, could sell his entire share in olam haba!
Explains Rav Brodiansky, Esav did not intend to forfeit his share in olam haba; rather, he felt that olam haba comes automatically. If one fulfills mitzvos, he receives spiritual reward. Therefore, there is no need to be concerned about one’s portion in olam haba. As for olam hazeh, however, Esav knew that this world can be a place of suffering, as we see at times instances of “tzaddik vera lo,” where the lives of righteous people are filled with hardships. It was this that concerned Esav. He did not want to miss out on the pleasures of olam hazeh. This was his focus.
Only, throughout his life, Esav faced situations that demonstrated that he was far too focused on olam hazeh, and outright negligent of olam haba. Selling the birthright is a prime example. Esav felt: “I’m hungry. I need to eat. If it’s a choice between eating and the bechora, then there’s really no choice — I have to eat!” Moreover, Esav “scorned” the bechora, saying: “What does it offer me anyway? The opportunity to do special mitzvos? But if one fails to do these mitzvos correctly, he can be punished with death! The bechora will endanger my portion in olam hazeh. I’m better off without it!” (Rashi Bereishis 25:32).
The Torah later states that Esav married at age 40, and Rashi (ibid. 26:34) explains that he waited until this age because this was the age that his father, Yitzhak, had married. This seems admirable, that Esav first sought to build himself up and prepare for marriage as did Yitzchak. Only, the reality was not so simple. Esav had long since been engaging in sinful relationships with women. On the one hand, he wanted a share in the spiritual greatness of his father, but on the other hand, he was unwilling to forego what he perceived as material pleasures, even though his behavior flew in the face of everything his father stood for.
The same happened when Esav realized that his Canaanite wives were a source of grief to his parents. What did he do? He went and married Machalas, the daughter of Yishmael (ibid. 28:8), thinking that this would find favor in his father’s eyes. Only, he did not divorce his Canaanite wives! Again, Esav did value the idea of living a life of spiritual integrity. However, he could not separate himself from the pleasures of this world enough to do more than pay minimal lip service to this ideal.
The error of Esav’s ways is a lesson for us. Even though we have to exist and function in olam hazeh, our prime concern should be olam haba, and we must never let concerns for our transitory portion in this world outweigh what needs doing to procure a portion in olam haba.
How do we do this?
The first step, advises Rav Brodiansky, is to “feel our neshama.” In order to help us focus on the spiritual world, we need to recognize our spiritual side and live with this awareness. He suggests that we reflect on certain spiritual desires we have, such as the desire to give. From where does such a desire emanate? The body stands only to lose by giving. Rather, our will to give is an intimation of the soul and its yearnings.
We also feel a desire to improve ourselves and reach perfection. Conversely, we know deep inside that the satisfaction we feel in material desires is short-lived at best. Our soul gets no satisfaction from material pleasures.
The Steipler would note that even irreligious people feel good about themselves after doing a mitzvah, sometimes even if it’s a mitzvah that was very easy for them to do.
Lastly, the desire shared by all of humanity to leave behind descendants after leaving this world is an intimation of our G-dly soul and its yearning for eternality.
Reflect on these ideas, says Rav Brodiansky, and you will deepen your awareness that you are a neshama whose ultimate destination is olam haba. This will keep you focused on the tachlis, and prevent you from making Esav’s error of becoming overly connected to olam hazeh.
The Rosh (Orchos Chaim 32) would say that to keep focused on our ultimate place in olam haba, we should remind ourselves daily that a time will come when our soul will take leave of its body and have to give an accounting for its actions here in this world. Therefore, one should try always to prepare himself for that with mitzvos and maasim tovim.
The Mesilas Yesharim (4) notes that there are levels of reward in olam haba, and if we don’t work to reach as many spiritual achievements as we can, we will find ourselves at a lower level. Even in this transitory world, we are upset when we find ourselves in positions we feel are beneath our dignity. How much more pain will we feel to be denied the place we should have earned for ourselves in olam haba, and that pain will be for eternity!
The Steipler would encourage parents to raise these ideas even with young children. “A child has to know that there is such a thing as Gan Eden and Gehinom, that there will be a final judgment and he has to prepare himself for it. If a parent doesn’t teach this to his children, he is neglecting an essential part of his mitzvah to educate them.”
Some time ago, I was attending a simcha where I met an elderly man who was confined to a wheelchair. We got into a conversation, and he told me something unforgettable:
“Several years ago, I became ill and fell into a coma. I was in a coma for several months, and during that time, I remember clearly that I was present at my final judgment in Shamayim. I was watching the din unfold, and things were not going in my favor. As this was going on, I saw people davening for me. Every prayer of theirs, and all the learning that was being done in certain batei medrash for the sake of my recovery, was somehow helping my judgment. I don’t know how it happened, but somehow I was allowed to come back to this world, and I decided from then on to try to do every mitzvah in the best possible way.”
May we successfully prepare for olam haba!